SpongeBob confirmed as gay

Yup, you heard it right, SpongeBob Squarepants is gay… According to a study by the National Commission on matters in defence of Ukrainian morals, as reported in their newspaper Ukrainskaya Pravda.

The Commission has examined some of the main animated TV shows and propose that authorities ban them as they are a, “real threat to children.”

Shows like The Simpsons, Family Guy, Pokemon, The Teletubbies and Futurama are, according to this study, “special projects aimed at the destruction of the family and the propaganda of vice and drugs.”

The same study also states that the Japanese Manga anime genre, “is a clear example of sexism propaganda,” to which they might actually have a point, but in a nice way.

According to psychologist Irina Medvedeva who compiled the study, children ages 3 to 5 years, after watching those shows end up, “grinning and teasing in front of adults who they do not know, they laugh out loud repeat ostentatious nonsense”.

The Teletubbies chase has been described as, “the intentional creation of subnormal man who spends all day in front of the TV with mouth open and swallowing any information”, which in turn forms the, “psychology of losers”. Such a shame Benny Hill couldn´t stick around to entertain the Ukrainians!

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